candy coated rose petals

by ana marie cox

1. The legs are the last thing to go.
2. When you’re sad, don’t fight it—accessorize it. Get some gin and cigarettes, then plan Edith Piaf until the CD starts to skip.
3. Knowing how to roast red peppers will impress more people than you’d think.
4. It’s OK to read at the table.
5. But it’s never OK to watch TV at the table.
6. You can always substitute white wine for vermouth in a martini.
7. Everything tastes better if it’s served by candlelight.
8. If nothing matches, no matter. That’s just another reason for candlelight.
9. Do not try to order in French at a French restaurant unless you are French.
10. Unexpected gifts are the most appreciated.
11. At work, find the people who can fix things—the copier, mistakes in your expense report—and then be very, very nice to them.
12. The cheaper caviar is still quite good.
13. There are five things that will always make you happy if you have them in your home: flowers, a lovely place to eat a meal, a chilled bottle of white wine, Goldfish crackers, and a cat.
14. If you must leave a party and you don’t have a good excuse, spill something on yourself.
15. The proper way to end a conversation is “I’m sorry to let you go.”

—from Real Simple, May 2008