When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking 25 miles to school every morning … uphill BOTH ways.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it! But now that … I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don’t know how good you’ve got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3s or Napster! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’d usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn’t have fancy crap like call waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!

And we didn’t have fancy caller ID boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up
and take your chances, mister!

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had Atari! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids.’ Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died … And you only had three chances before you died!!!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could Only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire … Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to pop it in a pot with oil on the stove or use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The Over-30 Crowd

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance—particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 deleted many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes. The system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed, Desperate

————————————-

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: ‘I Thought You Loved Me.exe’ and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
Resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

Ever catch your self humming a little ditty from a musical? I know I have. In the spirit of my ever-increasing obsession with musicals, I went on the hunt for the most popular musicals and came across Channel 4′s Top 100 Greatest Musicals* ever. Below is the list, but the channel has short paragraphs discussing each piece’s importance. The one thing I did notice was that the list primarily featured film musicals and not stage performances. I will continue my search for a stage performance review list. Also this list will become a page on its own so I can update my quest to complete it. For now, enjoy!

1. Grease (1978)
2. The Sound Of Music (1965)
3. The Wizard Of Oz (1939)
4. West Side Story (1961)
5. Mary Poppins (1964)
6. Singin’ In The Rain (1952)
7. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
8. Chicago (2002)
9. Oliver! (1968)
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)
12. My Fair Lady (1964)
13. Buffy The Vampire Slayer – Once More With Feeling (TV episode)
14. The Lion King (1994)
15. Les Miserables
16. Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (1971)
17. Cabaret (1972)
18. Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
19. Bugsy Malone (1976)
20. Phantom Of The Opera
21. Little Shop Of Horrors (1986)
22. Evita (1996)
23. The King And I (1956)
24. The Blues Brothers (1980)
25. Calamity Jane (1953)
26. Annie (1982)
27. Jungle Book (1967)
28. Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)
29. Fame (1980)
30. Cats (The Musical) (1981-2002)
31. Blood Brothers
32. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
33. Fiddler on the Roof (1971)
34. High Society (1956)
35. Oklahoma (1955)
36. Guys and Dolls (1955)
37. White Christmas (1954)
38. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
39. South Pacific (1958)
40. 8 Mile (2002)
41. Carousel (1956)
42. Starlight Express
43. Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (1937)
44. Tommy (1975)
45. A Star Is Born (Judy Garland) (1954)
46. A Chorus Line (1985)
47. Summer Holiday (1963)
48. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)
49. Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)
50. Hello Dolly (1969)
51. Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967)
52. Carmen Jones
53. Cinderella (1950)
54. On The Town (1949)
55. Hair (1979)
56. Meet Me In St. Louis (1944)
57. Paint Your Wagon (1969)
58. An American In Paris (1951)
59. Funny Girl (1968)
60. Top Hat (1935)
61. Scrooge (1970)
62. Sweet Charity (1969)
63. Jailhouse Rock (1957)
64. Easter Parade (1948)
65. The Jazz Singer (1927)
66. Gypsy (1962)
67. Doctor Dolittle (1967)
68. Kiss Me Kate (1953)
69. The Producers (1968)
70. Gigi (1958)
71. Show Boat (1951)
72. Godspell (1973)
73. Half A Sixpence (1967)
74. Shall We Dance? (1937)
75. Dil Se (1998)
76. Dancer in the Dark (2000)
77. Porgy And Bess (1959)
78. Hedwig And The Angry Inch (2001)
79. All That Jazz (1979)
80. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
81. Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)
82. Anything Goes
83. A Star Is Born (Barbra Streisand) (1976)
84. Ziegfeld Follies (1946)
85. Funny Face (1957)
86. There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954)
87. Million Dollar Mermaid (1952)
88. For Me And My Gal (1942)
89. A Little Night Music (1977)
90. Cry Baby (1990)
91. Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
92. The Umbrellas Of Cherbourg (1964)
93. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (1967)
94. Sholay (1975)
95. Breaking Glass (1980)
96. Lullaby Of Broadway (1951)
97. The Cotton Club (1984)
98. Bright Eyes (1934)
99. Miss Saigon
100. Let’s Make Love (1960)

* Musical movies include a release date. Broadway performances do not.

 

Went to see Eisley and Mute Math at House of Blues

So moving and having a social life has sent me into a whirlwind of busy-ness. The past week has been nonstop crazy. Here’s a recap of the past week or so.

Friday I spent packing, cleaning and fretting over whether or not I was going to land this gorgeous apartment I found. Went shopping to prepare for my Infamous Summer BBQ Party and then went to Dave & Buster’s for a birthday party. Of course, doing so much made me crash pretty early that night.

The Infamous Summer BBQ Party commenced Saturday evening and was a hit. Tons of people came out and merriment ensued. Fun was had by all. Of course, I forgot to take pictures so there’s no evidence of any antics. It was so great that you all were able to make it. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to have a party like that again now that I’m moving. Maybe I’ll hijack my mom’s place.

In other news from the day, I learned that I got my apartment!!!! I was so excited I could barely speak.

Sunday involved cleaning from said Infamous Summer BBQ Party, packing for a business trip down to Peoria and writing an article that was due Monday morning before I left for my trip. I actually got everything done as well as some packing. I rule!

Monday was busy; work had to be tied up and then we were off to P-Town by 2:30. The next few days I spent with 20 or so of my fellow editorial colleagues learning all about an industry company based down there. It was very interesting and our hosts were very nice.

UPDATE: I’ve uploaded a picture from the business trip next to some very large machines. Too bad they wouldn’t give me the keys.

Tuesday night I saw HARRY POTTER!!! That’s right. I was there at the midnight showing with Nittany’s Shenanigans. It was so great. Not surprising considering Book 5 was my favorite. I loved every second but it was sad too. Unfortunately in the series, it’s only the beginning of the sadness.

On Wednesday we returned from the trip late evening. I was exhausted but determined to drive over to my new apartment to see how the neighborhood was at night and talk to a tenant. I got there and back home before passing out, but it came pretty close.

One of the tenants was super nice and talked to me about the area and the building. I was pretty much sold before but talking to her just reassured me.

Thursday was a blur. I was so tired and work was looming with catch up work and closing an issue. It was pretty crazy. I came home only to go shopping for supplies, look over my lease and crawl into bed.

One great thing about my company is that we have summer hours. This allowed me to leave a bit earlier than normal Friday to run over to Ikea before helping Nittany’s Shenanigans move to her new place. I didn’t find much, just a bath rug, feather duster and rolling pin but I went to check out the bed frames and mattresses. I wasn’t impressed so I decided to use my old futon frame and get a new bed mattress instead. Afterward, I moved boxed and unpacked. Again, I came home pretty exhausted.

As you can tell, I like to power through certain things. So instead of relaxing Saturday morning, I decided I obviously had to pack. I actually got a tremendous done and I was super proud of myself. Midafternoon, I met up with La Petite Tricoteuse and The Captain to head down to Pitchfork Festival at Union Park. We saw Cat Power, Iron & Wine, Fujiya & Miyagi, Girl Talk and Yoko Ono. We had some amazing food. Chicken sausage with hummus and summer salad on flatbread. I’m still drooling over that food today. It was sooooo good! Concert was fun too.

After that we went to a party in the city. It was a rip-roaring time. I danced with a Colombian to latin music. Real latin dancing! I was so excited. Plus he said that I was pretty good. So how about that?

Sunday morning I ate breakfast at Harner’s Bakery & Restaurant with La Petite Tricoteuse, The Captain and Glenn, and then I was off toward home for some relaxation before Marissa and I made our way back to the city. I took her by my new place then we ate at Ben Pao. Best. Chinese. Ever. Then we hit up the Dolores O’Riordan concert at House of Blues. Let’s just say I wasn’t at all pleased with the venue nor the fact that the opening act didn’t get on stage until 9. Dolores not until 10:30. By then I was in so much pain, I could barely take it. I was groggy and tired for the ride home. It was nuts and not fun. Next time I hope she comes to town on a Friday or Saturday night. Sunday is too brutal.

SNBWB took place Monday night where I continued to work on Clessidra. I’ve gotten back to that darned sock, actually working on it a lot Saturday during the concert. The first 9 to 5 socks (pictures to come) was finished on the trip down to Peoria. I’ve made some small headway on the crochet baby blanket and finished the swatch for Socks That Rock to keep in my swatch journal. I really haven’t had much time for knitting but home to accomplish more this week.

So that’s it kids. That’s where I’ve been. I should’ve been more diligent in posting but was too exhausted. More regular posting hopefully to come.

Get your votes in! The 2007 Academy Awards are on tonight! The Best Picture category features the five films above: Babel, The Departed, Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine and The Queen. I’ve actually seen all five now and I think Babel was the best. So we’ll see what happens tonight.

Other big hitters tonight will be host Ellen DeGeneres, supporting actress Jennifer Hudson, supporting actor Eddie Murphy and best director Martin Scorsese. And the Oscar goes to …

Tonight my co-worker and I are seeing Le Rêve, a theatrical performance set in an intimate aqua theater. The show features acrobatics and choreography all centered around a large pool of water.

Similar to the performances of Cirque de Soleil, this should be a very intersting show. It’s at the Wynn hotel, which I’ve heard is amazing so it’ll be fun to explore a different hotel and see a show. I also was able to snag the tickets after working with the show’s marketing company on some free promotion. How cool is that? As they say in show business, it certainly doesn’t hurt to ask for swag.